we're home!

the house has become a home, we've survived two 'blizzards,' we're feeling out our surrounding and settling in. we still have some things to settle on our list: locating a church home, putting away the small things here and there, put up flood lights, manage the yard, but all in good time.

each time i walk from the honda around the corner and past the american flag with it's yellow ribbon and up the two front steps to our door, and then turn the key, this pride, joy, happiness comes over me: we're homeowners and it's our home! yes, we're paying the man for the next 30 years, but we will manage (we did research and made sure we could). but when you walk in, we've been told you can feel the warmth, the love that encompasses our home. and that's what we wanted.

sure, i know in a matter of time we'll be in the garage sorting through gear, hiding little love notes in each duffel, and counting down the hours until we live under two very different roofs, but that's part of 'us' and our life. and well, when that time comes, we'll still have our home, on happy jack drive, and we'll survive, because that's what we do. knowing that no matter how high God piles on the potatoes and lemons, he will bring out the peeler and the squeezer and help us make the most of it and come out with something super delicious that was worth it all.

pictures just don't do the home justice, so you'll just have to come visit!

the office: his side

the office: her side (one day it'll be the nursery)

cayman's room: complete with sleeping cayman

eat-in kitchen

the kitchen:

the master bedroom: small, but just right

the master bathroom: small, but larger then we've had in the past

the living room: gallery wall

mud room/ family tree:

the men's cave: basement

the hallway in basement: full bath for guests on left and laundry room in hide-away on right

cayman's part of the men's cave:

helloooo 4th id!

so i found aaron's office today. rather depressing, but it could be from all the bare walls and huge stacks of paper (seriously couldn't see over them). i did bring him a picture frame with our picture in it, just so he can remember what we look like and so those who come to bring him more work can see what they are keeping him from. also bumped into the frsa and the frg leader. made sure they knew i was ready and willing to help (i refuse to have a slacker frg or no family functions just because we have 800 single soldiers in the battalion).

it's one of those tough things. you walk into a frg meeting and you know everyone is looking at you thinking, 'who is she?' and well, it doesn't help that my first frg meeting with 4th id will be a halloween costume party. great! i hadn't planned on dressing up this year. and now i'm raking my brain trying to figure out the most appropriate halloween costume: hi! i'm the new s-2's wife. i'm serious, but fun. committed but laid back. i bake for the guys in the office every two weeks. i'm a stay at home mom who's always on the go with our toddler. yes, find me a costume that gives off that vibe but is still fun, light-hearted and i can throw together in a week.

what i have seen of 4th id has left me with mixed feelings. i know, i need to swallow the pill and follow my own advice (be open-minded and make the most of it), but come on. aaron came home last thursday from in-processing/ working (hadn't even finished in-processing and already he was slammed with work), and told me the unit was having some type of organizational day (code for mandatory fun day, USUALLY). so, i told him i'd make a dessert and meet him at the park when he got a break from in-processing. well, we show up. and man, it was organized, and it seemed fun for those involved, but it was not your standard 'family' fun day. it was rather a soldiers' field day. softball, football, volleyball and basketball tournaments. that's it. no chalk, no bubbles, no inflatable, nothing but the playground that just happen to be at the park for the kids. not happy.

and then there's this 'christmas' party. well, it's definitely not a 'family' shindig. at 6pm at the resort. $30 a head (because of aaron's rank). dress code spelled out for you. we're going, aaron doesn't want to , but we need to go. cayman will be spending the evening with my aunt and uncle (so glad we have family here). just waiting to seeing if there will be a family christmas party. waiting, and waiting and hoping i'll be proven wrong. yes jackie, there is a dstb family christmas party.

until then, i'm trying to remain open-minded and not too eager to be involved, but it's me. and to me, family is important. more to come i'm sure.

now more then ever

so i don't know if i'm pregnant and hormonal or if it's the fact that we just bought a house or the matter that last weekend 9 soldiers from ft. carson were killed in action or just the mess in my head, but now more then ever, i find myself tearing up at the smallest things, dreading the upcoming deployment more and questioning God's reasoning more. it's crazy, this isn't me. this isn't my potential. this isn't how it was suppose to be.

maybe before i was naive or maybe just ignorant, or just too Innocent and faithful. but as time has ticked by and we've been blessed with everything we thought we could really ever want, i find myself dreading it, dreading the blessings, dreading the things to come.

and as i sit here, i can't help but think tim tebow got it right and it was the whole purpose of me watching the game: 1 Thess. 5:18. i want to give thanks. i have so much to be thankful for. i know we could be in much worse circumstances in life. so as i give thanks, why can't i be joyful about it? why must dread linger in the distance shadowing the amazing things God has done for us?

i give thanks for so many things; my loving husband, our beautiful son, a roof over our head and food on our table, for loving family and friends and their support, for a country where we have been given so many opportunities, for the challenges that have made us stronger and much more.