can my jerry be more jerrylike

so i have a lurker, okay, aaron reads my blog from time-to-time (thank you hunny for reading. i love you and can't wait for you to watch me from across the leaving type in my blog). and that makes this blog entry harder (i love you hunny, remember that).

i watched 'ps, i love you' tonight. i did much better then i had anticipated. i teared here and there and only started really crying at the last letter in yankee stadium. and of course as i watched it, all i could think about was my own 'jerry' aka aaron. however, my 'jerry' isn't very jerry, yet. and it's not why i married him.

i married aaron for a million and one different reasons: he's a hottie (come on, you've seen him, admit it), super smart and nerdy (okay, dorky), very calm, makes me see the big picture and all sides of things, can make me laugh when it's the last thing i want to do, makes me think, gives me butterflies, is super tall, we made a super cute kid together, balances me, is sensible and a million other things. but, i guess i had hoped and still hope and will always hope that he would come around and be more 'jerry.'

see, i'm the one to leave love notes, send cards and keep the ones i receive stashed (though i know he spends a lot of time and puts a lot of thought into the cards he gets), i do the little romantic things. i don't mind. i do them because i love aaron and i want to do something just because. so, i guess if i were a guy, i'd send flowers on tuesday just because i thought about you. and i do have to say in aaron's defense, i've never been a flower kind of girl, until now. marriage and motherhood mature you and it's those little things you really start to appreciate. and don't get me wrong, only i could love a 'message' in a bottle with the key to his heart or a crystal with our pictures etched into it or a wii for valentine's day. oh, and the spa gift certificate. but i long for those love notes too.

and it's just those little romantic things i'm starting to long for. and i know you can't change someone. but maybe time and experience (and lurking around and reading my blog) can ignite a small spark to consider working on that romantic thing, not that i would love him any less if he didn't. i thank God everyday that i'm blessed to have the love of a man who loves me unconditionally. and i love him, unconditionally, today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life. and as aaron would say, 'that's a really long time.'


ps, i love you