Monday, November 9, 2009

helloooo hot mess!

do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and go, 'whoa sista, you are one hot mess!'? i feel like today was one of those days. between not sleeping well lately, battling this back re-injury, and this past week's craziness at ft. hood, i feel like i should have a flashing sign about my head 'hot mess' and a box of tissues.

and to be perfectly honest, i don't know where all it comes from. sure the loss of life is a tough thing for me to deal with. and yes, anything military reminds me of the impending deployment, and sure, the lack of sleep can't be helping nor can the back pain, but come on. isn't God suppose to be there with me, carrying me? not that i'm complaining, too loudly, but this is some majorly thick sand and i'm trudging on at full speed with my heels on, but not my running shoes, with what seems like a mini-sized world on my back along with our toddler, life in general and three huge suitcases of emotional baggage.

maybe it's all a wake call. hello jackie! this is your life and you do have two choices: would you like to admit you need help after you get your big girl panties on or would you like to continue to try and tackle it all and continue to pick the wedgie out of your rear because you refuse to buy bigger panties?

i'm opting for the help. i'm diving back, okay, crawling back into my time with just God and praising Him and then asking for the help i need. and well, as cute as those tiny like pink brand undies are from victoria secrets, they just aren't made for my lovely humps. so on with the big girl panties, still in with cute print of course, and on to my rock where i know i will find the strength i need. and off to the mental health specialist.

yes, the mental health specialist. it's a woman, she's from mid-west america and seems very level-headed with no poor reviews in the past. i figure she's air force, so she should be a little saver (small joke, sorry, it's how i cope).

weeping may endure for the night, but with the morning comes great joy psalms 30:5


Tyler said...

You should never be ashamned for asking for help. Who cares what form it comes in? I think I would take a trained pro more seriously than the hubs or my mom because they don't know you like your loved ones do.

P.S. You get out there and rock them panties girl! Get it!