Sunday, February 20, 2011

and now, i understand

so i could never understand why so many women complained about being pregnant. it's such an awesome miracle. such an awesome gift. and now, i understand how awesomely painful it can be.

i've reached 34 weeks and by this time last time, with lil man, i was breezing through the pregnancy, with not a care in the world. well, buddy, not this time. sure i have a preschooler and a deployed hubby, but this time around more than anything, i think my body is totally making up for my easy pregnancy with lil man.

arthritis: got it so bad that my arms go numb, driving down the road, chopping up veggies, sleeping, you name it, my arms are in pain. back pain: hello! and i have a 33lb preschooler who has been sick for the entire month of february it seems, so lots of cuddling and holding. sleeplessness: i sleep in 4 hour shifts. which i guess it nice because i feel like my body is preparing itself for midnight feedings, but i would enjoy getting some sleep, for more than 4hrs at a time. (because a nap for lil man isn't always in the cards for him) and getting comfortable: forget it. i can't sit comfortable anymore. i definitely don't sleep comfortable. i can't get comfortable driving (and i have super comfy sits in the honda). and showering, i'm to the point i need a chair in the shower just so i don't fall out.

so, i can completely now understand why so many women complain about the discomforts of being pregnant. but for me, every.single.ache. has been worth it. even when he's found joy in poking my cervix or even barrows his head in to my pelvis, it's been worth it all.

34 wks

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

take that deployment and preggo hormones and life in general

yeah, you heard me... take that deployment, and preggo hormones and life in general. today, i took prisoners, and no nothing took me as their prisoner (i'm sure for that i'll be paying for it for the next few weeks). but it felt so great to feel so accomplished today.

as i stood and stared at our calendar on the 10th of this month, for a month i was filled with joy thinking we had just made it to the 5 month mark, and then reality slapped me, hard, across the face (and i think some spit even hit the ground) that we had only survived 4 months of this endless deployment. and so, i found myself in a puddle on the floor.

and then there are those preggo hormones. between heartburn in the afternoon, evening, middle of the night, just flat out whenever, and feeling huge, even larger than an elephant at times, and just flat out being sore.all.the.time. and running on sleep that i collected during a 4 hour shift of sleeping, at least i'm getting ready for night time feedings, right, you could say this pregnancy is owning me.

and don't forget life. 24 hours to make the most of and then you get a whole new 24 hours. and with a 3 year old who was sick and then a preggo mommy who has been hanging on for some unknown reason to the crud, and the emotions and everything else that comes with life and deployment, there have been more gray days that resemble ft. lewis's weather than our weather lately.

but not today! today i accomplished a whole heap of things. broke in to my own home. felt great all day. didn't let a single bump in the road stop us. today i felt as if God himself was walking right in front of me making sure no one and nothing even looked at us the wrong way. what an amazing feeling. i pray it continues, or at least rears its head more often around here.