Saturday, November 1, 2008

let's play house

so i don't know your situation, how you met your husband, where in your journey of this thing called life you or your husband were when you met, or where you are now. i do know though where we were and where we are... and it definitely has never been playing house.

i attended a baby shower today (i'll post pictures of the gift i made for this shower and another. this really has been the weekend of showers). the father, 19 year old marine, seems to be very responsible and taking responsibility for his actions. he joined the marines, requested a job that wouldn't put him on the front lines, and has been working very hard to save money and get things ready for his baby girl due to arrive next month. the mother, a 17 year old soon-to-be high school graduate (graduating early in december) and army brat, seems to think this is all a game. grant it, the father is like my little brother, so i've seen him grow and ride the roller coaster of the teenage years and am very proud to see how he is handling this situation. the mother, whom i don't know well, i'm just basing my observations of the few times we've interacted. the problem here in lays in the fact that the father busted his butt to make it home from his duty station in mississippi (driving 10 hrs after getting off of work) to spend the weekend with his wife. mind you he's been in boot camp and then home for a few days before leaving for his duty station. this is the first time he's been home since leaving in august. so, it bothers me that the wife spent most of the weekend with her friends rather than with her husband. hello! he's 10 hrs away, you're carrying his child, and you're busy spending time with your friends who are here every single day! just seems like marriage and parenting aren't high on her list right now.

then we have our friends. our age. love them to death. however, it hit me the other day that the wife seems to forget that this isn't a game. being married to an air force pilot, he can get the call at anytime and have to deploy. something she knew when they got married. heck, she knew the day she started dating him in high school that he was going to college and then career air force. and she knew deployments would be part of their future. now that he's on altar, the reality is finally sinking in.

and then there's us. on our first date, which was 12 hours long for this very reason, we laid out all the cards and were completely honest with each other. aaron made it very clear that the military and maybe someday the fbi, are very much part of his life and factors he has no control over. and i made it very clear that i would support him in these endeavours. we discussed everything from deployments to kids to careers, all in that first date. and as our relationship became more serious, we discussed them all even more and laid out our plans. no surprises (well, okay. we planned on cayman, just not the timing).

i understood and understand the reality of our life. the fact that aaron has very limited control over his career and things like moving and deploying and how many holidays he misses, has never been a secret nor something i ignored. maybe being an army brat helps. but maybe because we have a plan, which is ultimately guided by God and actually laid out by Him, we're not playing house, we're living life. yes, it is upsetting when the call comes and aaron has to pack his bags, but it's not a shocker, it's reality. and i can't just take off my apron (which i bought a super cute one the other day. you can detach the top portion if you want just a half apron!)and say 'game over' or 'let's have a do-over.' all i can do is be honest and faithful to my husband and trust in God and not play pretend.

so, are you playing house or living life?


Whitney said...

This is a great blog!