Saturday, March 28, 2009

274 and then

274 days, 39 weeks, 6576 hours... that's it. okay, give or take a few hours. but honestly, that's it. and we don't that we'll even get that. we didn't last time, so why would we this time. and as much as i don't want this to be on my mind, it is. simple as that. and well, when aaron got that look on his face the other day, i knew it's been on his mind too.

we're clearing ft. polk! and that means pulling gear, cleaning it and being overly nice to the people at collections. it only took aaron two tries to clear! the hardest thing to clean: Kevlar. we made it a family event. and that's when i saw the look. we were all taking turns putting on aaron's gear (mostly just cayman). when aaron finally had all of his gear cleaned, he put his Kevlar on one last time, picked up cayman and looked at himself in the mirror. and that's when i saw and i knew that he knew...

he knew the day he signed his rotc scholarship the commitment he was making. we talked about it for hours on our first date, and our second date and nearly every date after that. we knew when we talked about starting a family and when we said, 'i do.' we knew. but knowing and experiencing are two very different things. and after 3 months apart and 363 days home and apart for 14 months, one can't help but know that 'that day' is coming again. and as we watch obama's next move, the location is the only thing to still be determined.

but, knowing that no matter what happens, knowing that in the end and along the whole journey there is someone to hold my hand, to carry me when i get tired, to be in control of it all, it gives me peace. and to know that when today ends, there will be another one tomorrow. and to know that when something comes up, there will be a mess, a test, a moment that will leave me with a message, a testimony, a moment to reflect on. and then, i'll do it again.

ps, i love you today, tomorrow and everyday from here to eternity.