Thursday, April 2, 2009

bringing it all out

so we're moving, wait, pcsing. no big deal. in my lifetime, i've pcsed now nearly two whole handfuls. however, this is our first pcs as a family. it's my first pcs as a wife, as a mother, as the one who has to make sure we have everything we need, that the movers are feed, that the paperwork is somewhere secure yet easily accessible, just the one who has to think of everything for everyone. which, to be honest, is okay with me. well, until i hit resistance or just deaf ears and feel like our teamwork has become more work and less team, just me.

i hate that when stressed, the ugly comes out. it seems that when we're being tested most, it seems that those not so nicenesses of us seem to rear their ugly sides. why? because we subcome to it and rather then making the most of the situation and raising above it, we let the stress bring us down. and i don't like it. but, as many times as i resolve to do better next time (which sometimes is five minutes later), it's hard. but, being able to step back, say 'enough' and stand up, take a breathe and move on to something more productive is so worth the effort.

so as we prepare to clear housing tomorrow, i'm sitting in our hotel room with its giant king size bed and whirl pool tub (so nice, if only i could clean it myself and partake) thinking, i must resolve again to do better tomorrow. i don't want our teamwork to be done in vain, but for us to make this move a success because we communicated, we listened, we worked together. and so, i pray, yes God, grant once more an opportunity so i may use patient and understanding and willingness to compromise. and though i know it will be hard and easier just to argue, let me hold my tongue, open my ears and think out my next step.

ps, we can work together because look at what we've created by doing so (our beautiful son, silly)


Tyler Lynne said...

Why is it harder to say things that aren't as nice than to actually be nice? I've never quite understood that myself, but I know I do it. Atleast you can admit when you have let word vomit get the best of you!

I was amazed at how easily Ryan got back into the swing of things when he came home. I was so nervous I tell you! I feel like since he's been back in Iraq he has mellowed out a bit too. Hopefully it continues through the rest of the deployment. If not, I will just deal and know that he will be fine when he returns home.

I hope your move goes smoothly! Safe travels!

Jennifer said...

Be safe and have fun while you travel... I am sure it will all be okay since you want so much for this to go smoothly. Just choose your battles. :)