ucmj article 134

so there is an article in the ucmj (uniform code of military justice) that in not so many words states that officers are not to fraternize with enlisted soldiers. well, depending on your definition of fraternization (according to merriam-webster: to mingle among brothers OR to associate on close terms with members of a hostile group especially when contrary to military orders) one may be left wondering why can't my best friend's husband come over for dinner?

and so, i'm sitting here too wondering, why can't he come over? i understand, if aaron is his superior and all that jazz, then yes, it might be weird. and i completely understand that if her husband happens to be a terrorist, it wouldn't be a good idea to have them over for dinner either. nor is he someone who will ever find himself in a hostile situation with aaron seeing as they don't work in the same unit. heck, the only time they see each other is on sundays at church when our two families sit next to each other and in our couples' sunday school class.

so, with that being said, why can't this 'brother' who was deployed to iraq with aaron under the same 10th mountain banner but different fob and even different unit come over for dinner, yet he can sit next to him at church and baseball games and such?

ps, i love you even if our friends can't come to dinner because you went to college and they didn't.

who am i?

so i was sitting in my ladies' bible study this morning and the question was proposed: who am i?

sitting here and actually all day, i have so many thoughts coming to me:
i'm a wife and mother

i'm a sister and a daughter

i'm a best friend and role model (not always the best, i try)

i'm a teacher and student (i believe the day you stop learning is the day you die)

i'm a graduate of THE university of alabama and of the university of phoenix (i have a bachelors in public relations and a masters in elementary education, now what)

i'm a social butterfly, but my husband keeps me grounded, not held down

i'm a clean freak, but i do have my lazy days

i'm a kid at heart

i'm a dork, just ask my husband

and i admit, i'm a nerd too

and a band geek

i'm a fan of THE crimson tide ROLL TIDE!

i'm a fan of the underdog too

i'm a creative artsy fartisy type, or i liked to think i am

i'm a chocolate addict (i ration out my thin mint cookies to last the whole year)

i'm an army brat (i've seen more of europe over the cross of ten years then i have of the entire usa over a lifetime)

i'm a poc for our unit

i'm a shoulder to lean on

i'm a fan of flip flops and jack johnson

i'm a sister in Christ and the daughter of an amazing person, God

now who am i in Christ?

i'd like to think i'm a role model, a leader, a strong hold, but i'd be deceiving you. i'm not a new christian, but i'm not a well-practiced christian. everyday is a new day filled with struggles for me. but everyday is an opportunity for me to grow in Christ and be a better person, a better role model, a better leader, a better christian.

that's who i am.

ps, i love you. you make me who i am

lost in communication or lack of

so it's been 62 days since aaron has come home from his 14 month deployment. during that deployment, he lived in a bombed out building with some 145 other guys. he used a 'pee bottle' when he didn't want to trek across the base to the bathroom to handle his business. he worked 14 crazy hours a day. ate crappy food. had some strangers washing his clothes. and watched us live our lives over here via the webcam and the pictures and home-made movies we sent home.

no cake walk by any means. and sure, it was crazy stressful. and sure, it definitely doesn't compare to walking up in your own comfy bed next to your spouse. it doesn't compare to running pt and then coming home for a hot shower and breakfast with your toddler son, who was a baby when you deployed. it doesn't compare to having a wife who cleans the house, from top to bottom, everyday, has lunch and dinner ready when you get home and every week or so bakes cookies for your soldiers. it doesn't compare to having a 52' flatscreen to watch all the tv you want or to play your xbox on. it doesn't compare to having a new car in the drive way or orders to a new, much better base.

so, with all that said though, there is no excuse for the lack of communication. i knew that when aaron deployed he'd come home a different man and i would become a different woman. i prayed everyday that we'd grow together despite the distance into the new people we'd be. i prayed he'd come home and leave the violence over there. leave the anger outside our house. and he did. but, he also left his easy-going self. he left his openness. he left his communication skills. he left the man i married some 7,982 miles behind. and i can work with that. but, then again, i can't work with someone who isn't willing to work with me.

i have to take off my mask and be transparent for a moment. for 62 days i have been out on the beach of life, out in the water. and to most it seems like i was just splashing around in the water, having a great time enjoying life as it will be now. however, i must confess, this whole time i've been out to sea treading water, struggling to keep my head above water. i feel that aaron's quick, short temper and inability to communicate with me is the undertow trying to drag me down. between taking care of cayman and maintaining our routine and standard of living, i'm struggling to take care of aaron (and us) and maintain the house as he adds to the mess and is slow to contribute to helping clean up.

don't get me wrong. he picks up here and there. he does amazing with cayman's bath time (i'm no longer allowed to give him a bath because daddy does it way better). he does a great job of maintaining the computers and cleaning the new car. but his clothes have become a tripping hazard in our bedroom, most days i end up emptying and reloading the dishwasher and i have a secret affair with the garbage now again (taking it out).

but, i have to say, there is light and hope for us. we will make it through these rough waters and we will make it ashore to walk hand and hand down the beach. we've switched to the couples' sunday school class which is studying the five love languages. just knowing our love languages and learning how to check and maintain each other's 'love tank,' is helping us make that progress, slowly, but surely.














ps, i love you, through these tough times and always. it's not all you, it's a lot of me too.

half way to stable

so it's been 45 days since aaron came home. so, we're half way to stabilized. it also means that we're only 320 days away from possible deployment orders again. i've been fighting in my head to keep the positive in focus rather then the negative, but it's there and it's hard to brush off because there's so much truth and possibility to it.

however, in the first 45 days, we've accomplished so much as a family. cayman and aaron have bonded amazingly! i have little happy tears in my eyes when i hear them laughing and aaron goofing off with cayman. it melts my heart! and it's calmed all my fears about the two of them knowing what to do with each other.

as far as the two of us... we've picked up where we left off some 14 months ago. still goofy and dorky as ever with each other. and well, there have been those moments when we butt heads and fuss at each other and have 'stupid' fights. but, we always make up. and well, we've always said, we'd rather have 'stupid' fights (chores, duh moments) then serious' fights (finances, faithfulness, etc). but overall, we're still that newlywed couple who give each other butterflies and say 'i love you' a million times a day.

so, as terrified as i was about reintegrating and life that could come after aaron came home, i have put my fears in the hands of God and what an amazing experience it's been so far. and just as i have put those fears in God's hands, i must surrender my countdown to aaron's next orders.

ps, i love you even when we have those 'stupid' fights.

the happiest place on earth

so for my birthday, we spent the day at magic kingdom. know that we only went because all three of us got in free. we had a great time! i was really amazed how well cayman did! during the five hours we were there, he only melted down at the end which was our cue to head out. all together, it was truly a wonderful day!

the first few pictures are from our saturday afternoon at downtown disney we spent with my mum at rainforest cafe and getting cayman his first lego set!

sanctuary

"Take me to that place, Lord,

To that secret place.

Where I can be with You

and you can make me like You.

Wrap me in Your Arms.

Wrap me in Your Arms.

Wrap me in Your Arms."


have you ever sat in church, your sanctuary and been wrapped up in praise and worship and the spirit moves through you and as you sing your love song to God, you find yourself singing a love song to someone else? many times last year, while aaron was deployed, i felt this way. not that i compare aaron to God or worship him in the same. but when you truly listen and feel those lyrics, it's not only a love song to God, but many times can be a love song to your loved one.

as we sat in church this morning and last sunday, i found myself doing the same, but this time i could hold my loved one's hands. it was an amazing feeling to return to my sanctuary, my hiding place from the world all last year while aaron was deployed, but this time return with him and share the experience. we have been attending church at ft. polk, but these last two sundays we've been visiting my parents in florida. i loved lakeside victory because it's relaxed (everyone, including the pastor wears jeans), there are tons of friendly people (they have small groups each semester for fellowship), and they meet at the movie theater (they rent the south wing of the cobb theater).

the darkness of the theater was my favorite part. we, my mum, cayman and i, could attend, shake hands and meet people, but then we could also sit in our comfy reclining movie chairs and rock back and forth as we listened to the messages without being distracted or distracing anyone. i loved that i could go in, bawl my eyes out and not have everyone staring at me. i loved that i could feel like a wife, a mom, a child of God facing her fair share of challenges and not be a novelty item (the whole army wife of a deployed soldier made me a novelty in this predominately civilian town). and i loved that i could sing my love song to God, but i could also sing my love song to my husband thousands of miles away.

i find that during deployments and during non deployment times it is very important to find yourself a sanctuary. for some it may be a church, for some it may be a lake, but where ever it may be, find your love song for God, but also your love song for your loved one.

ps, take me to that place and wrap me in your arms for i just want to be me, and only me.

what next

it's your birthday and your husband has just come home from iraq... what are you going to do next?

WE'RE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD! well, just the magic kingdom since i only get a 'one park' pass. but hey, FREE is free! promise to post pictures from our fun adventures!